Movie of My Life

My trip to town was so exciting, they had to make a movie about it.

Tina Turner: Wow, these corduroys make my famous legs look... ordinary.

She smashes her fingertips in her garage door, ruining the polish on her long and elegant nails. She skids dangerously up the driveway, finds herself stuck, stops to sand and shovel, then peels out of there and cruises to town in her convertible, her long hair flailing in the wind, snowflakes making her eyelashes sparkle.

She arrives at the grocery store, but those corduroys! They have to go! She strips to her black stockings, micro miniskirt, and stiletto heels, and struts through the aisles, picking up canned goods suggestively.

What's snow got to do, got to do with it?
What's snow, but a sweet old-fashioned notion?
What's snow got to do, got to do with it?
What's snow, but a secondhand precipitation?

Customers dressed like the Michelin Man gape in astonishment. Margo is politely escorted to a hospital in the next county. The white-coated men are smiling. "Ma'am, you've got a great pair of legs for your age." The film terminates abruptly.