How to Describe Women's Shape

Plain and simple: I don't like the terms "pear shape" and "apple shape." Although descriptive, they are pedestrian, completely suburban and domesticated. I say "apple shape" would be better called "Diana shape," because I for one far more closely resemble a huntress than an apple. The other shape could be "Hera," except that the powerful queen of the gods has something of a bad rep. However, I bet Aphrodite was pleasantly rounded in the hips, and the men were absolutely wild for it, so I'll propose "Aphrodite shape."

A number of women prefer one shape or the other--either they say wide hips are more womanly, or they groan to think of all the months they would have to spend at the gym to acquire a narrow build. I think both shapes are pretty awesome and ought to get a lot more respect. Fruit bowls, indeed.

I got to thinking about shapes because Elantu just sent me copies of the Celtic warrior women sketches she drew from poses I did for her. She took some artistic license, but parts of the warriors look like my parts. She obligingly tells me what people say to her about the drawings, and we laugh. "Are her shoulders really that broad?" (Yes.) "Hmph."

But no, my fingers are not that long, and my calves are longer. Also, when I swing a sword, I appear calm and happy and fierce, but not, I think, aggressive. I'm not really a warrior in real life; I'm a huntress. Even my warrior friends say so.

But although I eat apples, especially with bleu cheese on them, nevertheless, I am not what I eat.